Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Let's talk Divorce

In my life I have had to endure other people getting divorced and it is never fun to be a part of.  I watched my friend go through their parents divorce when we were just kids and to this day I remember how bad it was.   Most people do not realize exactly what the kids go through and how heartbreaking it is for them.   Why would some people just stop loving each other or cheat?  What goes through someone's mind before they end all of the love and loyalty?   I really do not have an answer to these questions, but if you think of anything please leave me a comment below.

I do not think religious reasons are a good enough excuse to stay in a terrible marriage and at the same time I do not think that depending on the reasoning it would be a good resolution.  My own parents have been abusive and intolerable most of my life, not only to me and my siblings but to each other, they always get verbal and physical even now that they are much older.  I bring up the religious aspect because that is the excuse they give us all these years for not getting a divorce.  Apparently it is more frowned upon then actually witnessing or being a part of the drama.    Luckily in life there are places like Quinn & Lynch, P.A. where families can get some help and guidance.
Art By JVM My Kid

The subject of infidelity or even just falling out of love can also be heartbreaking and I have even heard of divorces that do not even require a reason it can just be that someone no longer wants to be married.  In my opinion people do not bother to really take the time to commit to one another before starting a life together and getting married and that is probably why most of them fail.  It can also be abuse, drugs, or really many other valid reasons.

I have seen children act out or become distant in the whole process and I think that parents need to really try more for the kids by letting them know upfront what is happening and why. I am not saying to have a battle royal in front of them or to verbally bash the other parent during talks.  I mean that they should not leave them in the dark and just uproot them as needed to make the adults more comfortable.

Lastly, I would like to say that if you are in a bad marriage and you feel threaten in any way, do not stay. There are always ways to get help and even though it may be the hardest first step and even though if you have kids, they might not understand. You have to get out because your life is worth so much more and your children deserve better.  Do not be afraid to speak up and never wait the extra day hoping that things can get better.

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