Sunday, July 12, 2015

Don't Tell Her to Relax by Zahie El Kouri Review

Twelve percent of all women of childbearing age struggle with infertility, or 1 in 8 couples. 

Despite these statistics, and the fact that so many women struggle to have a child, most of them feel alone, in part because those closest to them don’t know what to say or how to say it. Perhaps you are one of these people. You don’t want to offend your loved one; you don’t want to make her sad; you don’t want to intrude on her privacy. But you also don’t want her to feel alone. You want to offer love and support and the opportunity to discuss what she is going through. 

Don’t Tell Her to Relax: 22 Ways to Support Your Infertile Loved One Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond can help. 

In these pages, you will find: 
• Information about fertility tests and treatments. 
• Insight into how it feels to go through the process of infertility diagnosis and treatment and how it feels to interact with loved ones during the process. 
• Vocabulary for discussing infertility and fertility treatments. 
• All the ways it is possible to build a family, including surrogacy, gestational carriers, embryo adoption, and traditional adoptions. 
• Specific instructions for how best to support an infertile loved one through all of these treatments and explorations. 

Don’t Tell Her to Relax helps you walk the line between being supportive and intrusive during a woman’s experience of infertility diagnosis, treatment, and beyond. It goes through both what to say and do and what not to say and do while your infertile loved one is struggling to build her family.

Cassandra's Review- This is very short and not detailed a whole lot. It does help to get some small facts to keep with you in case you are placed in situations and conversations pertaining to the topic at hand. 
I received a complimentary copy. 

Zahie El Kouri

Zahie El Kouri writes about infertility and immigrant culture, sharing her experience of surviving infertility through personal essays and articles. She has taught creative writing at the University of North Florida and the University of Oregon Law School and legal writing at Santa Clara University and Florida Coastal School of Law. She holds a J.D. from Cornell Law School and an MFA in creative writing from New School University.
El Kouri’s work has appeared in Mizna, a Journal of Arab-American writing, Memoir Journal, Dinarzad’s Children: an Anthology of Arab-American Literature, Brain, Child: the Magazine for Thinking Mothers, Ars Medica, and Full Grown People. She currently lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and three beautiful children. Don’t Tell Her to Relax is her first book.
Don’t Tell Her to Relax is available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble Nook, and her website

Connect with Zahie El Kouri on,,, and

“There was a long period in my life during which I was simultaneously trying to get pregnant, exploring adoption, and trying to imagine a life without children. During those years, there was a part of me that wanted to retreat, because it was so hard to explain how I was feeling to people who weren't struggling with the same issues,” says El Kouri. “At that time, I remember wishing that there was a manual I could hand to them, with step-by-step guidelines for what to say and what not to say to help me through a difficult time. When I finally did have a child, I didn't forget that need. I wrote this book to bridge the gap between those going through infertility and their loved ones.”

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